Visiting the Orphanage

Ni Hao from Hohhot Inner Mongolia!   It is the end of an eventful and emotional two days.  Zoe was up off and on throughout Tuesday night and when she woke up Wednesday morning she had a 101.5 temperature and her cough and cold that she had when she came to us seemed worse.   After some breakfast we actually ventured out with her because she seemed to be feeling better and our guide wanted to take us to the Hohhut Museum to find out about Inner Mongolian customs etc.  Then before dinner we walked to the store and bought the girls traditional Mongolian clothing – so cute!
The orphanage hall

These are some things that I have observed about Zoe so far.   When she eats she holds her bowl of rice and puts her head all the way down to it.   I’m told this is because at the orphanage the nannies want the children to be neat and not talk or play when they eat and so they learn to focus on the food in front of them.  We have watched at every meal as Zoe scrapes her bowl clean and eats every last grain of rice.   When we hand her a cup at any time other than after her meal she will not take it because drinks are for after meals and also because at the orphanage she had a cup that is her cup and ours is different than the one she is accustomed to.     

If she receives a snack she eats it in very small bites.   We bought a treat that is the size of an oyster cracker and Zoe takes 10-15 bites to eat it, savoring each little morsel. As I watch her eat crumbs the size we easily sweep off the table my heart was again broken for the life of the children who have no family.   I have watched as she repeatedly sits and fidgets with her fingers and hands in such a way it is obvious that she has spent many days with nothing to do.  She still has uttered only a couple words that must be mandarin and hangs limply when I pick her up.  According to the notes we received from the orphanage she had finally begun to talk again four months after her arrival in the orphanage from the foster family.  I went to sleep last night with tears in my eyes and prayers to my Lord for help with this little girl He chose for our family.   I felt very heavy burdened as I drifted off into fitful sleep.

This morning we rose early after our first night with everyone sleeping until 5:00.  We left our hotel at 7:30 for the three and a half hour drive to Baotou to visit Zoe’s orphanage.  Our van had no seatbelts for us and of course no car seats either.   But the girls were amazing for such a long drive including a 20 minute traffic jam.  We were so close to semi’s that if we put our windows down we could have touched the trucks!   Drivers drive on the edge of the road all the time even if there isn’t a lot of traffic.   The driving is definitely different.  Baotou is the largest city in Inner Mongolia and the sudden size of the place felt surreal.  

The Baotou Social Welfare Institute houses around 200 children from birth to 18 years old. We were only able to tour a small portion of the orphanage and as clean as it was and as kind as the staff were, it was still heartbreaking to see the children all sitting on their rubber mat in their room watching tv.  When we arrived in their room they rushed to talk to us and touch us.   If only words could describe how it felt to see these little children in such need for attention.   We were able to see where Zoe ate, slept and played and that was all they allowed.   They did not allow us to photograph any of the other children.   We met Zoe’s nannies and saw Mrs Xue who started the international adoption program in Baotou who we had also visited with when Zoe came to us in Hohhut.   As we were leaving we also met the orphanage doctor.   We were told that they were very excited to meet our family because we had sent our photo album with the family pictures and it made them very happy that Zoe was going to be joining our family.   We asked why Chinese adoption is taking so long and we were told it is because the government of China hopes that the children would be adopted domestically and by slowing it down they hope parents from other countries would stop adopting from China.   

I was a concerned how Zoe would react to being back in the orphanage and thought she might cry when she had to leave, but she instead she cried when I set her down to see her friends and when the nannies took her from me to hold her.   I was not sure what to do when that happened, but Dave was right there telling me to take her back from the nannies and that was all I needed to hear.   

We had made arrangements to meet the foster family who live in an older part of Baotou, but after we left the orphanage we made the decision not to go because the foster parents had told the orphanage we were coming to visit, even though they had been asked not to tell anyone.   Apparently, the foster parents are not allowed to have adoptive parents come to their homes because typically they are very poor and the government does not want parents to see where the children live.

This did not prepare me for the area where Zoe’s foster parents lived.   Instead of visiting them, we just drove around the area and it was unbelievable.   Pictures can be very deceptive and the ones we received of Zoe’s foster family’s home definitely were.   The best way I can describe where Zoe lived for one and a half years of her life would be ruins.   Crumbling hilly narrow curving roads with houses that seem to be connected, which share a community bathroom and are more than 200 years old.   We even saw three cows and a calf tied together in front of one house.   This area was made up of all moslem and our guide and driver were not comfortable in the area.   The pictures I have included show the area a little but the video we made is much better!  The “Hui” or Chinese moslem can be somewhat dangerous and sometimes steal babies so we were glad that we did not meet the foster parents in the end!  

We returned back to our temporary home at the Holiday Inn and finished our evening with ice cream at McDonald’s.   I’m quite certain Zoe has never had ice cream before and she loved it.   Each night I become more certain she has never had a bath in a real bath tub as she is so afraid of the water.  Today’s experience confirmed this for us.   The time together in the car ended up being a wonderful bonding experience and tonight as I go to sleep I will be praising God for the changes we saw today in Zoe.   She actually said a few words, but we couldn’t understand them, and she and Sasha had such fun squealing and playing and running around the room.   My God is so great!

Raise this Child

I have formed this little child

You hold within your heart.

My mercy and My goodness

Have been there from the start.

The face, the hands, the smile

I shaped all that you see.

Take this gift I’ve given you

And raise this child for me.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me.”  Matt 19:14