A Mother's Heart

Still Waiting...


It is hard to believe that we still don't have our consulate appointment.   We have been told for the past several weeks that it would be May 13 when we travelled.  Early this week we even expected to leave on the 12th.   Then yesterday we received our Travel Approval and were told to check into our flights to leave on May 20th.

This morning I received a phone call from our coordinator who informed me that China is missing our updated extension from USCIS and we would not be traveling until the 27th.   And that will not be confirmed until tomorrow once they receive the missing paperwork and try to make our consulate appointment.   As a mother this is heart wrenching to me.   Knowing my child is waiting makes me ache inside.

I think there is no greater calling than to be a mother and that is what God has called me to be.    Jean Fleming wrote the following and expresses this calling beautifully:

"Webster's defines "call" as a "divine vocation or strong inner prompting to a particular course of action." In every generation mothers must answer the call to BE what no one else can BE and to DO what no one else can DO for their children.  It isn't that mothers can't do many other things, but if they refuse to accept their calling as mother some child ends up short changed.   The empty space that mother leaves echoes for generations.

Mothers are neither the cause of all society's ills not the saviors of the nation.  But the future of society does depend, in part, on what we do with the children under our care.  What calling could be more glorifying to God?

God calls us to bring to our mothering a high level of commitment and a right perspective born out of a clear vision and a Biblical value system. "

Will you answer His call?

"So through the eyes love attains the heart: for the eyes are the scouts of the heart." Borneilh

WAITING…
It has now been about two weeks since we thought we would receive our T.A. (travel approval).   Barker (our agency) tells us they would still expect us to travel around May 13, so we continue to prepare for that.  Today I completed what should be the remainder of the paperwork until we get to China.  In the meantime, I read all I can to prepare to bring Zoe home.  And I feel like I obsess over every tidbit of info I find out.


Most recently I found the real reason Zoe was removed from her foster home last fall.   Apparently there was more to the story than the burning of coal in the homes.  At the end of October 2009 due to special restriction from the provincial civil affairs office there was a change that no longer allowed for no foster care in Inner Mongolia.  Foster care was discontinued due to two separate instances of orphanage children dying in foster care house fires caused by unsafe heating and cooking stoves.   Baotou SWI (where Zoe now lives), was overwhelmed with the influx of over 50 children in one day.


We also continue to receive information about Zoe’s care.   She first went to her foster Grandma (He Gui Xiang) and Grandpa (Tian Sheng Yu) on May 7, 2008.  She was the only foster baby for this family.   The foster grandparents also had a daughter and a grandson who lived in the same home.  They are Moslem (Muslim).  The word for a Chinese Moslem is Hui.


Now in the orphanage she sleeps in a crib in a room with 11 other children and she does not talk much.   She only says few words yet we must know a little mandarin since she is almost 2-1/2 and this is the language she knows.   We are bringing home a little girl who is old enough to walk out of her world of familiarity and into her new life.  To a child with her background it is like moving into Disney World.  Coming from an orphanage to a home with toys and a refrigerator full of food and drinks. We are preparing for the trauma of this change for an older child.  She has lost the only parents she knew in the past 8 months and now she will lose what has become familiar to her over the past several months.  

Although she will say good-by to yesterday, she will hold it in her heart forever.   And as God wipes away her tears, we are blessed that he will use our human hands.


ALL GLORY TO GOD, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely MORE than we might ask or think.
                                    -Ephesians 3:20

"We come to God in less-than-perfect condition, scarred and hurt by the choices of others. We carry an orphan's broken heart. God chooses us and offers us a place in His royal family."---Making a Difference in the World One child at a Time by J. Beazely

“I am very special.  I have been from the start.  Before they had me in their arms, they had me in their hearts.  And, like a single drop of rain that on still waters falls, my life and love will make ripples and touch the lives of all.  So read my precious story as step by step I grow.  I am a blessing and a gift as each page here shows.”  unknown

We sent the above package to Zoe through Red Thread which is an organization that delivers gifts to children in orphanages in China.   It included candies for the "aunties".   I hope that when they get such a gift that it helps them take better care of the children.   Amazingly, on Wednesday we received 41 pictures of Zoe during her first year of life.     I will not post all but here are a few.   She is so precious.  Red Thread also gave us information on what Zoe's life is like now.

-She sleeps in a crib by herself but in a room with 11 other children.   I think this is typical and is why Sasha has such a hard time being alone in her bedroom.
-She is not a picky eater and likes to eat snacks.
-She is an introvert and only says a few words.

According to Barker (our agency), our Travel Approval is not enroute yet, so that means it will be likely Friday or Monday until we know what day we will leave.

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Still Waiting...

And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them, Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me. Mark 9::36-37

Dear Sweet Zoe,

It won't be long now.  Soon our phone will ring with the final news we have been waiting for.   The TA.  That means Travel Approval.  So we will book our flights, pack our bags and do all of the things that we think we need to do before we leave.   But none of it really matters compared to finally having you.  

You will meet us and you might think we are funny looking.    Our skin is pale, our eyes are round and our hair is different.   You have beautiful dark hair, jet black almond eyes and skin that will easily tan.  And you have the cutest little iddy biddy nose.   Our language is different too.   You will look at us and wonder what we are saying and why we can't take our eyes off of you.   It is because our God brought you to us in our hearts and we have waited for what seems like forever for this day.

When you were born your mother took you to a place where you waited for us.   There were many children waiting,  just like you.   Sadly, some will wait forever.   But you have been waiting for us.   We will show you everything we can think of and laugh and cry and learn together.

We will watch you play with toys that Brady, Mikelle and Sasha have played with and help you choose new ones when you come into our world and stay forever.   One day when you grow older, we will travel back to see your homeland and see where you lived.   You may want to find your first mother and father.   We will try to help.   But we probably will not find them.   They left no name and no information.  Maybe you were too sick or they were too poor or too young or already had a child.  But I think they would be happy to know that you are here with us to care for you and love forever.   If only we could tell them.

Love, Mama

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. Edward Everett Hale

What a gift we received today in this picture of Zoe as a little one, in the care of her foster grandma in Baotou.   Any information we receive is so valuable and through a series of events we were given this beautiful picture.   

There are thousands more children like Zoe waiting for families.   I read an article recently by Mark Clark that reminded me of these priceless treasures who wait for homes. 

"It was a brisk January 2004 day in Washington DC as the young,

nondescript musician emerged from the Metro subway train in L'Enfant

Station. Wearing blue jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, with a

Washington Nationals cap on his head, he selected a spot against the

wall. He removed his cherished violin from its small case, placed a

few dollar bills and pocket change in the case as seed money, and

turned to face the morning foot traffic. He began to play. In the course of the next 43 minutes, 6 classical pieces were performed;

1097 people passed by, 7 stopped long enough to appreciate the music

and made donations to the violin case totaling $32. and change. The

violinist played a selection of classic greats that have endured the

ages rather than catchy pop tunes. By the way, the violinist was

Joshua Bell, 39 year old internationally acclaimed virtuoso playing

his Stradivarius. Three days before he had played to a full house at

the Boston Symphony Hall where merely good tickets cost over $100.  

and two weeks later to a standing room only crowd in Baltimore. He regularly earns $1000 per minute and is a Grammy award winning international star who was virtually ignored by the crowd hurrying to work."

I wonder how often we ignore what God has called us to because we are so distracted by the busy grind of our daily lives.   Meanwhile children around the world  cry out for a mama and a daddy to hold them and love them.  

"Sympathy is no substitute for action." 

  David Livingston

These pictures are the Social Welfare Institute where our Zoe is staying now.  The other picture I posted earlier is the old orphanage.
Photo #1:  front entrance
Photo #2:  office of directors
Photo #3:  play yard
Photo #4:  inside hall
Photo #5   back of SWI